Tuesday, February 14, 2017

Been to the doc again.

Went to the doc today to get the results of the blood tests done recently. All results good except for the cholesterol which is up a bit. 
Got the fat lady lecture, again, as usual. 
So, nothing is wrong with me except I'm fat. If I could disappear the weight overnight I would be fine and dandy. Yeah, right. Next blood tests in six months. Nothing said about the bloody great list of problems I gave him last time I was there. I wonder if he even read it. I really thought he was interested in helping me. But it's just gone the same as usual. Complete disinterest go away fat lady. 
Feeling despondent.
Now can you understand why I don't go to doctors.

Thursday, February 2, 2017

I'm going to the doctors today.

Dear Doctor.
I've decided to write it all down. There's so much that feels wrong, nothing seems to be serious, but altogether I feel like crap all the time. I can't remember the last time I got thru a pain free day.

I suffer with depression, anxiety, panic attacks, and I don't like going out. I shy away from responsibility and I hate having to be the one to make a decision. Some days I can't deal with people. Anybody, including family. I want them all to just shut up and go away. A lot of people make me feel angry. I'm on medication for this. I used to take three capsules a day. Now I take two on even days and one on odd days. I'm trying to get down to one a day. Symptoms all seem the same, no apparent increase or reduction.

I am always tired. The smallest activity makes me exhausted. I even have to have a rest/lay down after showering. I sleep a lot. Some days I just cannot stay awake, can't even hold my eyes open. My longest sleep was more than fifty hours, only waking for toilet breaks. Am not a morning person.
I have no energy, no stamina. I cannot walk or stand for long. It's got worse since I stopped working, Altho, I did used to have to force myself to get up and go to work most days there towards the end.

I get the shakes sometimes. Usually in the hands, can't hold a cup of water. Sometimes my head wobbles slightly. I also get a snap shut action in the jaw without any warning. Usually bite the side of my tongue when this happens. Left eye sometimes winks for 10-15 mins.

Full body jerks during sleep. Sometime come as a series of 4-5. Spasm enough to fully wake me up.

Please treat me as an ordinary person, don't put all my troubles down to being overweight. I have done the diet circus to the point of feeling suicidal. I have heard 'the fat lady lecture' so many times I could scream.

Starting at the feet.
Cramps, sometimes really bad. Both feet but not at the same time.
Also a different pain in the arches as though I have stepped on a big stone. Goes away after a few mins. Usually the left foot. 
Ankle both ache. Both have been injured multiple times. I often 'roll' an ankle when just walking.
Calves of both legs cramp at times. 
Both knees have been injured in the past. 
Right knee gives me the most trouble now. It feels 'wobbly' all the time and I don't trust it. It aches even when in bed. 
Left knee feels tender on the front. Last injury on this one in a fall in 2014.
A degree of numbness in left thigh, less troublesome since stopped working.
Both ache sometimes, usually after walking or standing for a time. Shopping will do it. A painful 'catching' feeling with each step.
Right hip aches all the time. Keeps me awake sometimes. Sometimes hard to get it to move to take first step. If feels like it is grinding sometimes and I feel as if it is shorter than the other, it's like walking without a shoe all the time.
Occasional pain in groin when walking. Had suspected hernia checked out when it was really bad but none.
lower back pain, both sides, in the 'dimple' area above the bum. That awful ,'catching' feeling often. 
Can't stand for long. Have had herniated discs on the left side, but most of recent back pain comes from right side now.
Sometimes feel like someone has thumped me hard in the middle of my back.
sometimes feels as if my heart is missing a beat then racing to catch up.
Sometimes get a feeling in my sternum as if I have been punched there. 
Sometimes sharp pin prick pain in armpit breast area that throbs in time with Heart beat. 

Shoulders and neck.
neck sometimes feels too weak to hold my head up. Have got a 'functional abnormality' from a whiplash in car accident back in 70s. 
Throat feels as if I have something stuck in it all the time. Always feels as if it needs clearing. I have choked to the point of having to have himelich manoeuvre admisnistered three times.
Right shoulder always aching and pain level goes up and down. Makes it difficult to turn in bed, or get up out of bed, or get up out of an armchair. 
Left shoulder aches sometimes. Never as bad as the right. 
Burning sensation in both shoulder blades area, right being more often.
right arm aches all over most of the time, feels heavy and 'dead'. If that sensation was happening in my left arm I would call an ambulance.
right elbow has 'tennis elbow' injury which reoccurs for no reason at all as far as I can see. I often wear a strap.
Both arms get a strained muscle feeling in them at unexpected times for no apparent reason.
Both wrists ache. Both broken as a child. Both sprained as an adult. 
Hands and fingers ache. Multiple breaks in both in the past.
occasional head spins.
often wake up with a headache. 
I don't get as many severe headaches and vomiting migraines as I did for most of my life.
I do get zigzaggy lines around the edge of my sight when a migraine is about to happen and taking heavy duty disprin at this stage usually stops the progression to a full on headache.
Constant ringing in ears. Volume varies. I can hear my heartbeat most days. This has been happening for years and years. I've just learned to live with it. 
Itchy inside ears. Worse when ears are warm.
Squiggles in eyes all the time.
Nose bleeds after sneezing or blowing it, sometimes. 
dry and itchy most of the time. It's not anything to do with soaps or shampoos and such. 
I get pin-pricks of pain, mostly on my legs. Makes me think it's an insect biting me, but there is never anything there. The location and intensity varies. 
Sometimes it's as if a pencil has been driven into my flesh. 
Often my skin feels as if there is millions of ants crawling over me. Or one single ant in a particular place, so I scratch and straight away there's another ant somewhere else. 
Basically, I itch all the time, And Altho I resist scratching during waking hours, I scratch frantically in my sleep to the point of where I will have blood under my fingernails, and have scars to show for it.
My skin is extremely sensitive to direct sunlight. Just 10 mins in the morning sun will start me itching. 
I sweat a lot. 

I'm going nuts. 
Help me.

Sunday, September 18, 2016


Photos of the layout so I get it right when I join then all together. 

Monday, September 12, 2016

Monday, September 5, 2016

STRIPES - that's a fact jack!

I've always wanted to play around with stripes, but I've never managed to collect many.
So I bought a pre-cut kit. 
Enjoying myself. Doing the 3" squares first. Nearly finished all of them and will do the 12" squares next.
Boom shagalagalah, boom shagalagalah

Sunday, August 28, 2016

Wednesday, August 24, 2016

Screaming Me mes.

Story of my life.

Monday, August 22, 2016

Burnt offerings, hurt feelings.

The corned silverside pot boil has just boiled dry. To the point that, even tho it's under an exhaust fan, the smoke detector down the hall went off. He Who Suffers took it outside, cause it's smoking, and put it on the patio table before coming inside to get another pot to put it in. The GLASS patio table! FFS! How incredibly stupid can you be man! And he has the nerve to be offended because I said as much!  He the claims I was incredibly stupid for not noticing, to which I replied that he's incredibly stupid for standing next to it peeling spuds! 


Thursday, August 18, 2016

Don't confuse me.

And I have difficulty making out if a person is joking or not. This causes me confusion, anxiety and stress.
FFS! You don't have to be a comedian to communicate. 
So many people do this these days. You are not funny if the person you're trying to be funny in front of doesn't understand 'the joke'. And don't laugh at them or get angry at them for not understanding.


As you were.
Carry on.

Sunday, August 14, 2016

I need to buy a heater.

I keep forgetting to buy a heater for the studio. The intention is to put a reverse cycle air conditioner unit out there that will also have an outlet in the main bedroom which is just on the other side of the brick wall. That would save me running the air con for the whole house when I want to heat or cool just our bedroom.
The cold doesn't really bother me. I'd rather freeze than fry. I just put on my favourite beanie when I get cold out there. 
I look like my paternal grandmother, born Millicent Robertson, before she got tiny and frail.

But Rod can't stay out in the studio for long when it's cold. Now that's a shame because he has promised to cut up some of my scraps for me. I have a big Sizzix cutter and a Baby Go Cutter and about a dozen dies. Anyone want to come and do some cutting for me? We can natter while you cut scraps and I cut a quilt, or sew.

Like the box says, you can help yourself before or after you cut it into pieces.

A Quilter's Studio - Area 51

I've been out in my studio today, ratting around in storage crates, looking for fabric collections I know I have for certain proj cuts that have been swirling around in my mind.
It occurred to me that maybe I haven't put any studio photos here.  So I took some. 
It's not neat and tidy. It never will be.
  From the doorway of the bathroom.

  From the entry door.

  From the kitchenette corner.

  From the corner where all the machine embroidery stuff is situated.

I use the shower box in the bathroom for storage of fabric on rolls and UFOs. Crates and crates of them. Thinking of changing them from crates into a book case so I can see what's there.mhaving them in crates kinda brings about a 'out of sight, out of mind' situation.

BTW, in case you didn't already know, my sewing rooms have always been called AREA 51 because there are so many UFOs in there. Nobody knows what in there. Nobody!